Damn, If I'm Not Negative, I Have Nothing To Say

I've been on such a posting tear recently, going on and on about my dislike of pregnancy and my general anxieties. Then, I feel a modicum of relief and happiness and I've got not a lot to say. Happily for the readers of this blog, I can only be happy for so long. Pregnancy contributes to my misery.

Here are my random thoughts and bits for today.

1. I finally called a fireplace cleaner to come out and clean our fireplace. It's been years and it needs it. It will be in time for Cookbook Club.

2. I really, really want to move into a new house in a new neighborhood which has young children in it so that N has more children to play with that don't require long drives. However, I think the value of my own house has dropped ridiculously and I shiver at the idea of trying to sell it. Lesson learned, don't buy a house you like but don't love and make sure you research the neighborhood first.

3. I'm happy about the baby nowadays, but dreading the idea of delivery. I most likely will be going to c-section and I spend minutes, if not hours, thinking of the IV and the spinal and the cutting open and the possibility of being paralyzed or killed.

4. Also, since I'm still only at week 23 (ugh, forever until February), the baby is kicking a lot, but not so steadily or heavily that I can do kick counts. This means that I'll experience an hour or two during the day in which I'm convinced something has happened to hurt my baby. (Today's crazy thought for the day: "Did the amnio have a late reaction for this baby and now it is hurting?")

5. Still with the bitter taste of metal in my mouth after eating. Ugh. I just want to enjoy something sweet, life.

6. This baby is such a crazy kicker and so active as compared to my pregnancy days with N. I'm worried about how this will play out the first few months of its being a child.

7. For everyone who has asked, no, we do not know the gender yet. We have an envelope, and we're going to Babies'R'Us or something similar. We plan to pick up one Little Brother onesie and one Little Sister onesie and then tell a cashier to wrap one up as appropriate. Then we plan on opening the present on Christmas day in front of friends, family, and such.

8. Whew, N has reached the whiny stage of preschoolerhood. Tantrums abound. Prior to parenthood, I had no idea that children would really throw themselves on the floor and kick their legs when upset. What a revelation. A sad, unhappy one.

9. Of course, he also declares that he loves me regularly and holds me close to him when he's tired or sad.

10. Today, we started a new thing -- stories about a young boy named N. N was captivated and asked for about five of them. I hope this helps spark his imagination.

1 comment:

Helen said...

The bear was also super active in utero. I would say it was an accurate representation of her activity level while awake post birth, but not an indicator of her interest in sleeping. (She loves sleeping almost as much as her father does.)