One of the really weird things about having a blog and then forgetting you've told people about that blog is that people will occasionally read your blog and then mention it to you and then you get nervous and wonder if you're secretly blogging things that might offend them.
For instance, I was at my cousin's daughter's one hundred day party (a special Korean celebration of a baby's life and their moving past the most worrisome part of their childhood) and his sister turned to me and told me that my post on thoughts I had while anxious was hilarious. I immediately froze and reviewed whether I had blogged about my mom recently in a negative way. (Darling cousin, you're on to my secret thoughts now.) Luckily, while my mom and I have a somewhat argumentative relationship, she has been terrific (mostly) lately. Even if I didn't love my mom because she was my mom, I would love her because she tells me to take a nap when she sees me and then her and N play outside all day. And I sleep. Do you know how much I love sleep while I'm pregnant? It's like the greatest blessing on Earth. And though I hate to say this to my husband, the sleep I get when around my mom is deeper than the sleep I get around him. I'm more assured that she'll rush to get N if he's upset or hurt or waking up.
I also wonder if any of P's family (besides my super awesome sister-in-law) ever reads my blog. I barely ever mention P's family, but it weighs on my mind. For instance, I've been wanting to blog about how much I adore my mother-in-law recently, but in doing so, I might happen to admit that I love her much more than I love my father-in-law (who I'm also fond of) but I don't want her whole family to hate me for that. Well, I guess the secret is out now. Don't hate me, okay? I just love your mom more.
Luckily, among my friends, I mostly know who is reading, though I also am curious if anyone of my Facebook friends have found this blog via my webpage link. Surely most of them I never discuss and the ones who I'd insult are the same ones who'd never come looking at this blog, but it still makes me a little nervous.
I think this is one of the reasons I was so happy to keep my online stuff mostly impersonal for so long. You can't really hurt a person's feelings by telling them that you knit a pair of socks or cross-stitched a sampler, you know?
After all that, I do want to give me cousin who reads this blog a big shout out. First, she should have her own damned blog because her decorating at the party was fine. I feel she put a ton more simple and elegant thought into that party than I have for all of my son's parties combined. The color combo of grey and yellow was interesting and pretty and perfect. Secondly, she let me borrow her truckload of maternity clothes. I'll admit that I was a little intimidated by the sheer amount of them. (Last pregnancy, I had about three pairs of pants. This time I have ten pair of khaki pants alone!) Thirdly, she's also the one that taught me to cross-stitch way back in the day. If I had never cross-stitched, I probably would never have knitted. If I had never knitted, I would probably never have picked up sewing. All my craftiest hobbies are due to her and she never even knew it.