Why My Poor Husband Should Just Ignore Me

The scene was a random lunch on a weekend recently.  My husband had let me sleep in to a ridiculous degree because he suspects when I get more sleep, I'm less sick and less grumpy and less hateful.  This is all true.  I smile at him and told him I had a dream that he left me again.  I'm sure he's used to this by now, but he looks annoyed regardless.  To be fair to him, since I've started to date him, I've dreamt that he's left me about fifteen billion times.

In the early days, I used to freak out, but over the course of our marriage, I've learned to wake up, look around and realize that we're married and he has not left me and that we have a child together.  So my telling of these dreams has moved from anger at him over leaving me in these dreams to laughter at myself for still having these dreams.  However, this last dream was a doozy.

In the dream, he tells me he's going to leave me and he's taking N.  And N will have a new mommy.  Oddly enough, for one of the first times in my dreams, I don't freak out.  I calmly tell him, "You have two choices, stay with me or I murder you."

I relate this dream to my husband and he looks at me dead-eyed because he's tired of dreams where he's the bad guy.  Sympathetically, I add, "I think it was really kind of me in my dream to offer you that option.  I didn't just murder you.  I gave you that chance to come back to me." 

Consider that this poor man has been doing the majority of care for our son when we're both around, a ton of the cleaning, all of the holiday decorating and break down, and all of the cooking.  Don't you think he deserves better?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I regularly have dreams that Chris has been turned into a zombie, and I have to kill him. At this point, I've lost count of how many times I've dream-murdered my husband. :D