Oh man, oh man. Can you feel it? It's a new year, with new possibilities and new dreams and new hopes and new beginnings and, more importantly, the end of pregnancy. I'm ready for it.
December was my roughest month in years. I think the last month I've had like it was January of 2010, which I hatefully recall as the month of hospital stays for my son's inability to breathe normally. In this December, we had stomach bugs, pink eye, sinus infections, colds, and the inability to sleep due to coughing. Please note, I experienced all of the previous as did N, and my darling husband even got the cold. (My husband grew up the fourth child out of six. Most germs just don't even look at him as they pass him by. They wilt under his discerning germ eye. I grew up an only child and passing breezes that contain germs infect me.) We had long work trips for my husband. We had a Christmas vacation in which I spent as much time possible attempting to sleep off a cold, only to have that plan fail. It was hideous.
But, February beckons like the light at the end of a particularly long and gruesome tunnel. I try not to think about it too much because when I start to think about the IV and the spinal I start to get sick and want to die, but I keep reminding myself that in a year from now, it'll all be water under the bridge. And if N is any indication, water I can't even remember that clearly. Last time, the IV and catheter were momentary bitches, and I didn't feel the spinal and that was the end of the pain. Why am I so worked up now? Who knows? I think my body just likes a certain level of anxiety.
So, why am I so excited about a new year considering my anxiety level? As my husband often notes, I'm a creature of the seasons. I am most excited about whatever holiday/season lays before me and I find that I fall into their beliefs and patterns very easily. I'm hopeful and full of strength at the start of a new year, and still snuggly under the idea of winter.
I hope you all had a nice new year's day and we can all wish 2011 a big ass kicking goodbye.
Oh, btw, if you live near me, yes, I was the lady in Gymboree weeping today because they didn't have the light blue embroidered with unicorns corduroy dress in a newborn or 0-3 months size. That was going to be my daughter's going home outfit, Gymboree!