I bet you weren't wondering where I was. Okay, maybe you were. Sometime around early July I began to feel the stirring of "morning sickness" and heartburn and exhaustion and misery. I call it morning sickness, but it would last from two in the afternoon to three in the morning. I don't throw up easily, so I would just lay in bed wondering if it was possible to die of pure wretchedness. Sadly, the fact that I was sick as a dog prevented me from sleeping at night which meant that I was forced to sleep in the morning when N was playing with Legos on the floor. Literally, I'd get up and feed him and help him use the potty and then I'd toddle to the couch and zonk out.
Sadly, the symptoms kept piling up. After the nausea began to die down (but not disappear), the heartburn began to really get bad and then the weird bitterness in my mouth took over. Everything tastes bitter including sweets such as chocolate or starches such as potatoes. Milk tastes bitter. The only thing that doesn't taste bitter is lemonade which exacerbates my heartburn like nothing else besides Indian food (a household favorite dinner). Then, the headaches started. They'd last three days, easily, and I couldn't take any effective medicine for them.
The side effect of all this is that I've lost five pounds since getting pregnant, I'm grumpy and depressed, and I just want to eat normally. Like, I want my husband to make me a giant pot of risotto and I want to eat it and some Brussels sprouts and then I want to finish off my meal with a giant slice of pie or cake or an ice cream sundae.
I can't even look at half the food I just mentioned without running to my room, lying down, and closing my eyes. Even thinking of them as food rather than words makes me start to get sick. If I ate a third of that, my stomach would rebel and I'd get heartburn that would last me for four or five days and then I'd clear my throat and I'd be stuck trying not to be sick for an hour or more. I spend most of my days thinking of food, how I'd love to eat, and then getting sick at either the reality or the thought of it.
Other than that? I'm pretty damned excited to be pregnant again. I want another child, but I'm afraid of how this new baby will affect my relationship with N. I love N's growing independence and creativity, but I want to cuddle him like he's my baby still. I am looking hesitantly at our finances. I spend half my time willing this baby to be a girl and the other half willing it to be a boy. I cry at the drop of a hat over either happy or sad things. I wonder why my husband isn't sick. I wonder why he doesn't do enough around the house. I thank God he does so much around the house and I want to cry because I'm not grateful enough.
I count down the weeks until "delivery". I pray that the holidays make it sail along. I hate that the doctor gave me a choice between C-section and VBAC. I love that she was actually concerned about my mother's four miscarriages rather than dismissive. I hate that she told me I might need to go on blood thinners once again, but love that she didn't mock me for being a big scaredy cat about pain. When I told her I had a panic attack during my last C-section, she asked me if I was taking medication and then indicated I might want to look into it after giving birth if I normally experienced a lot of anxiety.
I'm so miserable about being pregnant, but I realize I should be grateful that it is going so well and that I get pregnant easily.
I was just on a week's vacation and Paul was home for about nine or ten days straight. I'm finally rested enough to post on this blog again. Maybe you'll see me soon. After all, N starts pre-school soon, and you might hear my hormonal weeping about my baby not wanting his mommy from your current location.
Missed you all and I hope we can talk again!
20110712
I'm Not Feeling Well
I know I haven't been posting, once again, just after I've said I'll be posting more, but if it makes you feel better, it's because I just don't have the energy. I'm just not feeling well lately and that's causing me to sleep earlier at night when I usually do all the posting!
Anyway, I did want to give you all a tip -- Design Mom is having a special giveaway for her fifth blog anniversary. What is it? Fifty picture books. That's right, fifty. Enter if you have a young child, because that is clearly an effing awesome prize right there.
Anyway, I did want to give you all a tip -- Design Mom is having a special giveaway for her fifth blog anniversary. What is it? Fifty picture books. That's right, fifty. Enter if you have a young child, because that is clearly an effing awesome prize right there.
20110628
Ring, Ring, Ring, God Calling!
The picture has nothing to do with the story, but what is a blog entry without a photo?
We've been to church with N many times recently and N is very concerned with who God is and what he does and where he lives and whether he is good or not. (I'll be honest here, just between us, my blog readers, and say we did not go very regularly for awhile before that and that my own faith and beliefs are a work in progress. My husband is definitely the more faithful of the two of us and I believe a better person morally.) We've told N in simplistic terms that God loves him, the church is one of His houses, and that God is very good and he created everything. After church last week, we came home and P and N gardened together.
P came in a little later to tell me that the little man had been pretending to talk on the phone for a short bit and that he hung up when P got close. When P asked who N had been talking to, N answered simply, "God." P was a little surprised but asked what God had to say. N replied, "He said thanks for coming to church and it was good to see me."
So, you know, N has a direct line to God apparently. Maybe N can get some answers for me.
20110623
Lantern Moon, It Is The Bestest
Remember last year when I bought those ridiculously expensive Lantern Moon needles at Salty Yarns down at the shore? I've used them for about a quarter of one project and three quarters of another and, so far, two of them have snapped. I'm not even going to lie, I possibly wept when the second one was found in the bottom of my purse, having fallen out of both my knitting and my knitting bag. Unlike the Clover needles I previously used, these Lantern Moon have been beautiful, pointy, and smoother, allowing the yarn to be easily picked up and slid down them. I loved these needles.
Well, just yesterday, I wrote to them to ask how much an individual Sox Stix would cost since I just can't afford to waste money on new rosewood needles, though I did not say it that way. They told me that all of their needles are guaranteed! All I had to do was tell them which ones I was missing and they'd send replacements.
Oh, my heart. I now have an excuse to purchase Lantern Moon needles. I won't feel badly about the investment.
20110622
Blogging Train: Still Running
Things that this whole blogging thing is forcing me to do? Get my damnable pictures more up to date. How can I tell you about what I'm doing when the latest photos I have up on Flickr are two months old?
In the upcoming week or next, I plan to blog about how summer feels more summery with my son around, how Lantern Moon is the bestest, and I'll give you another finished project in the form of a baby blanket, but in the meantime, here is a dose of squee from April!
Our next door neighbors have a duck that has taken to nesting in their bushes during the spring. She comes, lays eggs, hatches them, and then she and her brood take off. We do our best to make sure that we see them!
Here they are waddling to the creek in our backyards.
They had some trouble achieving this because at first the ducklings just squeezed under my neighbor's fence while the mother duck panicked like hell telling them to come back here right now or they'd be sorry. Once they had all gathered and got in the water, they were experts at only several hours old!
They were quite keen to take off and we thought we had all seen the last of them.
But momma duck came back for her last unhatched egg! So it was back up to the nest for one last overnight visit.
Hopefully they are doing well!
In the upcoming week or next, I plan to blog about how summer feels more summery with my son around, how Lantern Moon is the bestest, and I'll give you another finished project in the form of a baby blanket, but in the meantime, here is a dose of squee from April!
Our next door neighbors have a duck that has taken to nesting in their bushes during the spring. She comes, lays eggs, hatches them, and then she and her brood take off. We do our best to make sure that we see them!
Here they are waddling to the creek in our backyards.
They had some trouble achieving this because at first the ducklings just squeezed under my neighbor's fence while the mother duck panicked like hell telling them to come back here right now or they'd be sorry. Once they had all gathered and got in the water, they were experts at only several hours old!
They were quite keen to take off and we thought we had all seen the last of them.
But momma duck came back for her last unhatched egg! So it was back up to the nest for one last overnight visit.
Hopefully they are doing well!
20110621
Finished Project(s): Mommy and Baby Elephant
I've been drooling over the super cute stuffed elephant in Sew Everything Workshop
for years now.
Recently, after hemming up some pants and shirts for my mom, I realized I wasn't making fun stuff for myself on the sewing machine because I felt I wasn't thin enough to wear cute clothing. I know this is stupid, stupid, stupid, but it was really killing my enjoyment of sewing. I decided to take a step back and make some of the patterns I have for children. After all, it's hard to feel bloated just because your son is holding two stuffed animals.
I originally told him I'd make him an elephant, and that we had to go to the store for fabric. He had no understanding of what I was going on about. He asked me where the toy elephant was in the Jo-Ann store. He asked me what the word make meant. He begged me for the elephant on the way home from the store. I felt pretty badly about the whole incident and did not delay on starting the Mommy elephant pattern, which I cut out that night.
The next day, I started sewing pre-nap and I showed him the elephant's trunk (which he again did not understand), but got the majority of the body done while he was asleep. I quickly stuffed it, but I had lost my hand sewing needles so I was unable to seam up the open holes in the body and ears, and I was unable to attach the ears and eyes. No matter. When my son woke up, he was astonished to find an elephant like creature waiting for him. I showed it to him and he asked his daddy softly, "Can I hold it?" I said, "Of course." I also explained how I needed to add eyes and ears.
He hugged it gently and said, "I love it."
And he proceeded to hold it for another hour in the car and to lovingly ask me when I'd put the eyes on. He also asked me where the baby elephant and daddy elephant were located. I explained I had to make them. With some quick needle work (and some hand sewing needles from Safeway), I was finished with the mommy elephant in time for his next nap.
After putting together the mommy elephant, the baby elephant went together super quickly. I have to give a big hand to the author of this book. Her patterns and instructions are fantastic. There was no confusion or guesswork or mismatched pieces in this (or the other three patterns I've made from this book.)
I used a flannel from Jo-Ann for the body of the elephants, some Minky like material for the ears (which I have a ton more of should I ever decide to become a stuffed animal producing machine), and cheap-o buttons for the eyes.
I can't recommend this pattern enough. Anyone seen any other cute stuffed animal patterns out there? Maybe it's time to knit up a stuffed animal!
for years now. Recently, after hemming up some pants and shirts for my mom, I realized I wasn't making fun stuff for myself on the sewing machine because I felt I wasn't thin enough to wear cute clothing. I know this is stupid, stupid, stupid, but it was really killing my enjoyment of sewing. I decided to take a step back and make some of the patterns I have for children. After all, it's hard to feel bloated just because your son is holding two stuffed animals.
I originally told him I'd make him an elephant, and that we had to go to the store for fabric. He had no understanding of what I was going on about. He asked me where the toy elephant was in the Jo-Ann store. He asked me what the word make meant. He begged me for the elephant on the way home from the store. I felt pretty badly about the whole incident and did not delay on starting the Mommy elephant pattern, which I cut out that night.
The next day, I started sewing pre-nap and I showed him the elephant's trunk (which he again did not understand), but got the majority of the body done while he was asleep. I quickly stuffed it, but I had lost my hand sewing needles so I was unable to seam up the open holes in the body and ears, and I was unable to attach the ears and eyes. No matter. When my son woke up, he was astonished to find an elephant like creature waiting for him. I showed it to him and he asked his daddy softly, "Can I hold it?" I said, "Of course." I also explained how I needed to add eyes and ears.
He hugged it gently and said, "I love it."
And he proceeded to hold it for another hour in the car and to lovingly ask me when I'd put the eyes on. He also asked me where the baby elephant and daddy elephant were located. I explained I had to make them. With some quick needle work (and some hand sewing needles from Safeway), I was finished with the mommy elephant in time for his next nap.
After putting together the mommy elephant, the baby elephant went together super quickly. I have to give a big hand to the author of this book. Her patterns and instructions are fantastic. There was no confusion or guesswork or mismatched pieces in this (or the other three patterns I've made from this book.)
I used a flannel from Jo-Ann for the body of the elephants, some Minky like material for the ears (which I have a ton more of should I ever decide to become a stuffed animal producing machine), and cheap-o buttons for the eyes.
I can't recommend this pattern enough. Anyone seen any other cute stuffed animal patterns out there? Maybe it's time to knit up a stuffed animal!
20110617
Testing, Ding, Ding, Is This Thing On?!
Hey, thanks to the advice you gave me, in like, March, I decided to finally combine my love of my son, N, and my crafting. I will now have one blog. If you are following two blogs, or two feeds, might want to get rid of one of them since they'll probably be a bit redundant. On the other hand, my book review blog is finally getting some posts written because I've decided to take it more seriously. No lie, I've posted to it ten time or more this month.
Either way, I've got some crafting stuff to post. I made my son some stuffed elephants. I knit a blanket. I broke my Lantern Moon sock needles and now have half an effing sock sitting in my WIP bag. I hope this works.
20110607
Sulky
Ugh. This has been a good month with bad things happening in it. First, it costs a fair bit to buy presents and throw a party for a little boy. When combined with two trips we plan to take this summer, upcoming school for N, and other financial changes, I'm feeling pinched when it comes to finances and it sucks.
It sucks because I want to buy things like yarn and needles, or fabric, or books, or other things that I enjoy and I won't. Worse, I haven't bought clothes in months now and shoes in years. I get money and I immediately allocate it to something hobby wise or coffee wise or to getting N stuff.
I've decided to take some steps re: this. I'm going to stop drinking Starbucks so much. It's killing me even in theory, but those Mocha Coconut Fraps add up both cost wise and calorie wise. I'm going to stop buying so much food for N when we're out. He'll need to learn to brown bag it a little more often. And I'm going to stop buying stupid small things that I want like a new more expensive shampoo or cute little cups for N. Perhaps if I stopped buying them, I could afford some new shoes once in a while.
And now, I'm here to tell you with this depressing financial statement, I think I'm back to blogging. My book blog is actually flourishing, and it's making me feel helpful about my family and craft blogs, which I've finally decided to combine. Also, it is a free hobby. So, wish me luck!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)