It is not every day that you are asked to give your opinion about a baby's name when the baby didn't actually physically come from you in any manner. Today, when Helen and I visited the newly born baby Kim, we were asked our opinion on the spelling of the first name, which thrilled me.
I like to pretend I'm not opinionated, and I can be very indecisive, but when I have an opinion, it's normally very strong. It's a curious mixture of my mom's "got to be right at all times" attitude and the beaten down nature of a child who's had to live with that mother for years.
I'm not proud to say that I was very opinionated about the spelling choices for the name.
The baby Kim is adorable, and tiny. I was too afraid to hold him, and I was terrified watching Paul hold him. All I could think was that Paul would drop him and our friendship with the Kims would be done forever. (How can you forgive even the spouse of the person who has dropped your baby?) I fussed and fussed over the way Paul was holding the baby, silently admonishing him whenever I felt he wasn't standing in a manner which was steady enough. Paul, being less of a nervous Nellie, and more of a person who has held multiple children, simply ignored me and continued to hold the baby without dropping him.
After a few minutes, Paula started to tell us about the birthing, and it assured me that I would not be able to deliver without some drugs of some sort. My mother-in-law's ability to shove six babies out of her body without drugs now strikes me as some kind of super human power. Clearly, her superpower is birthing. My own is paranoia, which does not make birthing easier.
While at the hospital, Tom tried to sway us (Helen, Paul, and I) into believing that his first choice for the baby's name was better than the name agreed upon. However, as Paula didn't like the name, Helen and I fully supported the agreed upon name. As Paul later put it, both parents get veto powers over names. (In my heart of hearts, I think females should get the first choice. I can tell you from experience that pregnancy isn't easy for me, and I think the naming would be a nice reward.)
I'm now in week 21 of my own pregnancy. I envied Paula the fact that her baby was no longer in her. Kittle is draining me of energy, and making me sick most of the time, once again. Further, I no longer fit comfortably into normal jeans, and my skin feels oddly stretched now. I am finally showing if I wear my normal non-loose t-shirts. My recommended amount of food for a person at this time at one sitting is a half of a handful or less. I frankly don't even know how I could gain more than thirty pounds during the whole pregnancy at this point. Eating the amount of food that I used to eat normally is making me sick even when I space it out. Perhaps in months 7-9, I shall feel normally hungry or even hungrier once again. Nowadays, I simply want to throw up after every meal.
As I told Paul when I burped after I woke up today, "Pregnancy. It makes me glamerous."
20080123
a new low
First -- new highs -- Tom and Paula had a baby boy! YAY! So cute. So awesome. So Pom-pom.
Now, to the other matter, my new low. Let's face it, I'm a technology addict. For God's sake, I work at a dot com. I actually do my best to stay away from new technology, games, and internet sites because I know myself. I become addicted quickly. In fact, I'll often jokingly refer to myself as an odd combination Luddite/Tech Geek due to this habit of trying to avoid something until others around me push me into buying/using a new thing, at which point I'll become obsessed.
When Dieter said, "Want to play City of Heroes?" I said no and then later bought it and lost a month. Puzzle Pirates? World of Warcraft? Thanks, Dieter! I didn't need that half a year of social time. I held out against the DS until most of my office had one.
I lived without TIVO, and Netflix most of my life. Now, if you were to take any of those away from me, I might collapse into a sobbing mess in my bedroom. I wouldn't even know how to watch television anymore without my TIVO and Netflix, yet when Paul first bought me the TIVO, I felt a slight sense of dread. My iPod? I went years without one and resisted the purchase. Paul bought one for me, and now I beg Helen for playlists like a junkie. I didn't have a cell phone until Paul panicked one night when I got stuck on the turnpike without one. He bought one for me on the night we purchased our house. I try to stay independent from it because I've seen the texting habits of my friends. Have you noticed how Paul is a big enabler of my technology? He'll probably buy me a laptop or iPhone next, and then I'll be doomed.
Anyway, I'm particularly crazy about social internet sites like Flickr, but I try to not get involved with them. I know how it goes. First, I'm completely normal, but then I become obsessed with who has viewed my photos, commented on them, and who is posting photos. This was partially why I avoided Facebook like the plague. Today, Helen asks me if I want to see a picture of her sister's new dog, and I, assuming it is on something like Flickr, ask her for a URL. Turns out, the dog pictures are on Facebook.
So, I signed up with Facebook. DAMN YOU, INTERNET! Of course, I started looking for friends right away and feeling pathetic about my lack of friends and comments and cool features. Ugh, why did I do this?
The worst part is that I came home, and told Paul, and he just laughed at me. Sigh.
Now, to the other matter, my new low. Let's face it, I'm a technology addict. For God's sake, I work at a dot com. I actually do my best to stay away from new technology, games, and internet sites because I know myself. I become addicted quickly. In fact, I'll often jokingly refer to myself as an odd combination Luddite/Tech Geek due to this habit of trying to avoid something until others around me push me into buying/using a new thing, at which point I'll become obsessed.
When Dieter said, "Want to play City of Heroes?" I said no and then later bought it and lost a month. Puzzle Pirates? World of Warcraft? Thanks, Dieter! I didn't need that half a year of social time. I held out against the DS until most of my office had one.
I lived without TIVO, and Netflix most of my life. Now, if you were to take any of those away from me, I might collapse into a sobbing mess in my bedroom. I wouldn't even know how to watch television anymore without my TIVO and Netflix, yet when Paul first bought me the TIVO, I felt a slight sense of dread. My iPod? I went years without one and resisted the purchase. Paul bought one for me, and now I beg Helen for playlists like a junkie. I didn't have a cell phone until Paul panicked one night when I got stuck on the turnpike without one. He bought one for me on the night we purchased our house. I try to stay independent from it because I've seen the texting habits of my friends. Have you noticed how Paul is a big enabler of my technology? He'll probably buy me a laptop or iPhone next, and then I'll be doomed.
Anyway, I'm particularly crazy about social internet sites like Flickr, but I try to not get involved with them. I know how it goes. First, I'm completely normal, but then I become obsessed with who has viewed my photos, commented on them, and who is posting photos. This was partially why I avoided Facebook like the plague. Today, Helen asks me if I want to see a picture of her sister's new dog, and I, assuming it is on something like Flickr, ask her for a URL. Turns out, the dog pictures are on Facebook.
So, I signed up with Facebook. DAMN YOU, INTERNET! Of course, I started looking for friends right away and feeling pathetic about my lack of friends and comments and cool features. Ugh, why did I do this?
The worst part is that I came home, and told Paul, and he just laughed at me. Sigh.
20080111
baby name
Diane, thank you for the congrats! I sometimes forget I used to blog about knitting even though I still knit things. I want to knit my future baby one of the rabbit hats from Stitch'N'Bitch so badly. If you read this again, have you made many things or are you still in a mostly recovering state?
Okay, another thing to discuss about this upcoming baby (and I hope this doesn't become a baby blog), names. Wow, I thought naming my kittens was a lot of pressure. In fact, Jade, my sweetest kitten, went through about five name changes in the first month of her stay at our house. This is nothing to the pressure of naming a child. Here are the horrors of naming children:
1. It has to be a name you like.
2. It can't sound bad with the child's last name.
3. It can't be easily turned into an insult by other children.
4. All nickname variations should be liked as well.
5. You and your spouse have to agree on it.
6. You have to hear everyone else's suggestions even if you don't ask for them.
7. You have to hear everyone else's opinions on your choices even if you don't for them.
8. You have to try not to insult any family members who expect their name to be the one used.
9. It probably shouldn't be the same name as any other children your friends have.
10. It is distracting if you pick a name your friends have.
Frankly, it's all horrible. Paul and I found several girls' names we like, but we can't agree on which we like best. My favorite is not his favorite, though we've come up with a name now that we both like. The only problem? My mom's Korean tongue would kill that girl's name every which way from here until eternity.
On the subject of boys' names, we're even worse off. Generally, if I like a boy's name, it's already taken by people I know (Joshua, Andrew), it's taken by a friend (Stephen), or it has a nickname that I hate with all my being (Gabriel, shortened to Gabe). The names that I like that don't have problems, Paul hates (Tristan) or are so popular as to be in the top ten for names for the year (Logan). This child is going to end up being Paul Junior when I become desperate for a name, any name, at the last moment.
Okay, another thing to discuss about this upcoming baby (and I hope this doesn't become a baby blog), names. Wow, I thought naming my kittens was a lot of pressure. In fact, Jade, my sweetest kitten, went through about five name changes in the first month of her stay at our house. This is nothing to the pressure of naming a child. Here are the horrors of naming children:
1. It has to be a name you like.
2. It can't sound bad with the child's last name.
3. It can't be easily turned into an insult by other children.
4. All nickname variations should be liked as well.
5. You and your spouse have to agree on it.
6. You have to hear everyone else's suggestions even if you don't ask for them.
7. You have to hear everyone else's opinions on your choices even if you don't for them.
8. You have to try not to insult any family members who expect their name to be the one used.
9. It probably shouldn't be the same name as any other children your friends have.
10. It is distracting if you pick a name your friends have.
Frankly, it's all horrible. Paul and I found several girls' names we like, but we can't agree on which we like best. My favorite is not his favorite, though we've come up with a name now that we both like. The only problem? My mom's Korean tongue would kill that girl's name every which way from here until eternity.
On the subject of boys' names, we're even worse off. Generally, if I like a boy's name, it's already taken by people I know (Joshua, Andrew), it's taken by a friend (Stephen), or it has a nickname that I hate with all my being (Gabriel, shortened to Gabe). The names that I like that don't have problems, Paul hates (Tristan) or are so popular as to be in the top ten for names for the year (Logan). This child is going to end up being Paul Junior when I become desperate for a name, any name, at the last moment.
20080110
baby stuff
As Kittle starts to become more a reality and less a drain on my energy levels, Paul and I have started considering what needs to be done to make life with Kittle happen. Things that need to be done include eight million things around the house include:
* Fixing our fireplace.
* Painting around both of our air conditioners.
* Moving my bedroom furniture over from my mom's and moving our furniture into the baby room.
* Getting our laundry area fixed up and then buying a washer/dryer.
* Decorating a child's room and getting a crib.
I admit to feeling mostly overwhelmed just looking at the list and sometimes crying when I think about it, but pregnancy has led me to many unwanted tears.
Sometimes, I cry imagining Paul has left me because I don't want a lot of children. Sometimes I cry because I'm imagining that I died during childbirth. Sometimes I cry because I imagine people are calling me a horrible person for not wanting to give up work. Sometimes I cry because I imagine I'll be laid up for a long time before/after birth and Helen will have to find someone to replace me. Sometimes I cry just because I'm getting 'fat'.
I admit to being a paranoid person in the first place. (I'll often have nightmare after nightmare of Paul leaving me while non-pregnant, or of being fired while on vacation.) Pregnancy has just made it worse.
Paul has been wonderful during this whole time. He's pointed out when I'm being crazy without making me feel guilty for being tired/anxious/sick/lethargic.
I'm hoping that when the baby is born that even if my life doesn't go back to normal, my body and feelings will. (I sometimes imagine I'll get postpartum depression and fear for my baby's life. This causes me to cry too.)
* Fixing our fireplace.
* Painting around both of our air conditioners.
* Moving my bedroom furniture over from my mom's and moving our furniture into the baby room.
* Getting our laundry area fixed up and then buying a washer/dryer.
* Decorating a child's room and getting a crib.
I admit to feeling mostly overwhelmed just looking at the list and sometimes crying when I think about it, but pregnancy has led me to many unwanted tears.
Sometimes, I cry imagining Paul has left me because I don't want a lot of children. Sometimes I cry because I'm imagining that I died during childbirth. Sometimes I cry because I imagine people are calling me a horrible person for not wanting to give up work. Sometimes I cry because I imagine I'll be laid up for a long time before/after birth and Helen will have to find someone to replace me. Sometimes I cry just because I'm getting 'fat'.
I admit to being a paranoid person in the first place. (I'll often have nightmare after nightmare of Paul leaving me while non-pregnant, or of being fired while on vacation.) Pregnancy has just made it worse.
Paul has been wonderful during this whole time. He's pointed out when I'm being crazy without making me feel guilty for being tired/anxious/sick/lethargic.
I'm hoping that when the baby is born that even if my life doesn't go back to normal, my body and feelings will. (I sometimes imagine I'll get postpartum depression and fear for my baby's life. This causes me to cry too.)
20080107
I Need to Post More
I told people I'd blog and that I'd eventually share my blog with them when I had enough entries, so maybe I should post more.
Resolutions for the New Year:
If I can do any of the above, I'll consider it a miracle.
Resolutions for the New Year:
- Try to stress less.
- Try to hate my body less.
- Get this baby out of my body on time.
- Eat more fruits and veggies.
- Try to be less mean to Paul.
- Try to talk about myself less. (Great job with this entry!)
- Try not to cry myself senseless if Clinton is not the Democratic candidate.
- Try not to cry myself if somehow Huckabee wins everything.
- Try to hate the suck ass customers less.
- Remember the nice customers more.
- Don't let my mom walk over my opinions on raising a child.
If I can do any of the above, I'll consider it a miracle.
20070911
*chirp*
It's so quiet around here and I'll tell you the truth about why. World of Warcraft and Flickr.
However, people have been questioning me about my 'secret' blog, so I figure I better continue to post so that when I share out the URL, it's not immediately apparent that I'm not blogging due to being a lazy geek.
So, I thought I'd talk about all the things I've been doing online:
However, people have been questioning me about my 'secret' blog, so I figure I better continue to post so that when I share out the URL, it's not immediately apparent that I'm not blogging due to being a lazy geek.
So, I thought I'd talk about all the things I've been doing online:
- Flickr. If you'd ever like an accurate representation of what I do in my life, it's Flickr. It contains my holidays, my cats, and my friends and family. Better than any blog I've ever had, it describes my life.
- World of Warcraft. I might as well call it crack. I am already pulling away from it due to the fact that it forces me to interact with morons. I hate morons, but I love online video games. It's a sad, cruel contradiction.
- Amazon. Every year or so I become obsessed with reviewing books and adding/refining my wishlist. This year, a month of Amazon Prime triggered it.
- Reading entertainment blogs. These people make me realize that my opinions and ways of living might be weird, but I'm not alone.
- Getting excited about the upcoming television season. It's kind of wrong, but I'm interested in at least four or five new shows this season. Pushing Daisies, Moonlight, Chuck, Journeyman. They all look interesting, if not good.
- World of Warcraft. This shames me terribly. I can't discuss it other than to say that if you play on my server (Rexxar?), let me know. We can hang.
20070710
author note -- Laurell K. Hamilton
I'll admit to something that I'm not proud of. I love watching directors, writers, artists, anyone creative... well, I love watching them explode crazily on the internet. Seriously, good times, good times when Anne Rice crazily defended her books on Amazon. In fact, I love watching people who are clearly delusional slowly, or swiftly, fall apart on a national public forum.
It becomes even better when these people have crazy fans who defend them in classic fan boy or fan girl behavior. I'm not normally one to slow down for accidents on the side of physical roads, but with the metaphor of the internet as a super highway? I'd be stopped by the side of the road taking pictures and filming. I'm simply fascinated by crazy creators.
So, on that note, you might have heard of Laurell K. Hamilton. She writes porn. She used to write 'urban fantasies' that had police procedurials in an fantasy world. She writes straight out porn now, though. I, who almost never give up on series, have given up on her. Between the fact that I don't want to read porn and the fact that she writes porn about men I find unattractive (or even repulsive) and the fact that her porn is badly plotted, it's just not worth it. For the last year or two, I've kind of forgotten she's existed outside of trips to Barnes and Noble's fantasy aisle. Then, I wonder briefly who buys her, and I move on.
I'm apparently not the only one dissatisfied with her suck ass porns. She has something to say to everyone of us.
Well, I'll give you this, Ms. Hamilton. They are certainly are a hot mess. I'm not sure why you think this is a good thing, but it's clear you do. You are going crazy, 'ma petite', in much the same way Anne Rice did. You seem to believe that words come to your lips from some force of beautiful nature. You believe that the best selling status of your book means that you write well. Oh, Ms. Hamilton, that's just embarassing. I admit, some best sellers are good writers. Then there are the Robert Jordans and Anne Rices and Stephen Kings of the world. They wrote adequately at one point and the simplicity of their writing garnered them fans. That's what happened to you. You wrote easy novels that were also police procedurals and you wrote them during a time in which people were becoming obsessed with urban fantasies and vampire romances. I'm not saying there's something wrong with writing easy to read novels or for striking when the iron is hot. (In fact, Nora Roberts writes simple to read books and occasionally I love her for it.)
You do not write well. You've never written well. You wrote adequately. You wrote with enough skill to make me believe you could and would improve into a good writer. Instead, the opposite has occurred. You've become a bad writer. Further, you seem horribly insulted that people are stating so in public.
Lastly:
Dude, hit a doctor. If you are starting to believe the people you write about are real? It's worrying.
So, if you happen to see any train wrecks on the internet today? Send me a link, 'kay?
It becomes even better when these people have crazy fans who defend them in classic fan boy or fan girl behavior. I'm not normally one to slow down for accidents on the side of physical roads, but with the metaphor of the internet as a super highway? I'd be stopped by the side of the road taking pictures and filming. I'm simply fascinated by crazy creators.
So, on that note, you might have heard of Laurell K. Hamilton. She writes porn. She used to write 'urban fantasies' that had police procedurials in an fantasy world. She writes straight out porn now, though. I, who almost never give up on series, have given up on her. Between the fact that I don't want to read porn and the fact that she writes porn about men I find unattractive (or even repulsive) and the fact that her porn is badly plotted, it's just not worth it. For the last year or two, I've kind of forgotten she's existed outside of trips to Barnes and Noble's fantasy aisle. Then, I wonder briefly who buys her, and I move on.
I'm apparently not the only one dissatisfied with her suck ass porns. She has something to say to everyone of us.
My books are logical, to me, understandable to the vast majority of my readers, but they are not neat, they are not utterly organized or clinical. They are big, messy books, a lot like life.
Well, I'll give you this, Ms. Hamilton. They are certainly are a hot mess. I'm not sure why you think this is a good thing, but it's clear you do. You are going crazy, 'ma petite', in much the same way Anne Rice did. You seem to believe that words come to your lips from some force of beautiful nature. You believe that the best selling status of your book means that you write well. Oh, Ms. Hamilton, that's just embarassing. I admit, some best sellers are good writers. Then there are the Robert Jordans and Anne Rices and Stephen Kings of the world. They wrote adequately at one point and the simplicity of their writing garnered them fans. That's what happened to you. You wrote easy novels that were also police procedurals and you wrote them during a time in which people were becoming obsessed with urban fantasies and vampire romances. I'm not saying there's something wrong with writing easy to read novels or for striking when the iron is hot. (In fact, Nora Roberts writes simple to read books and occasionally I love her for it.)
You do not write well. You've never written well. You wrote adequately. You wrote with enough skill to make me believe you could and would improve into a good writer. Instead, the opposite has occurred. You've become a bad writer. Further, you seem horribly insulted that people are stating so in public.
Lastly:
My characters are real to me in a way that makes me miss them. For God's sake, I'll be in the mall and see something, and go, "Oh, it's the perfect gift for (fill in the blank)." I've been in line with the present in my hand, before I go, "Wait, these are make believe people. I can't buy them a Christmas present." I guess I could, but there's no way to give it to them.
Dude, hit a doctor. If you are starting to believe the people you write about are real? It's worrying.
So, if you happen to see any train wrecks on the internet today? Send me a link, 'kay?
20070709
pop culture notes
it's been a while since my last review and I need to review a few movies I've seen since that time, I've decided to skip reviewing and make some pop culture comments.
- I'm sick of people nattering on about the Phillies' 10k losses. SHUT UP! Yes, our city has the most losingest team in all of history. Also? "Now, as the 21st century begins, the Phillies are the oldest, continuous, one-name, one-city franchise in all of professional sports." Boot to the head to the next persion to mention 10k losses. (Phillies Official Site)
- Woah, Angel II, also known as Moonlight, will have Jason Dohring in it. Oh, Jason, my love for you is eternal. As apparently your character is. I've gone from mocking Angel II with all my heart to adding it to my to be TIVO'ed list.(Hollywood Reporter)
- My boss and I have sworn that we will both see the Golden Compass at midnight on the day it is released to theatres. Doesn't the casting look brilliant? I normally hate casting big names solely to cast big names, but they managed to pick people who looked almost exactly like the characters I imagined.
- Has anyone else seen and been intrigued by the latest JJ Abrahams trailer? Has Lostzilla gotten loose from the island?
- I'm sick of people nattering on about the Phillies' 10k losses. SHUT UP! Yes, our city has the most losingest team in all of history. Also? "Now, as the 21st century begins, the Phillies are the oldest, continuous, one-name, one-city franchise in all of professional sports." Boot to the head to the next persion to mention 10k losses. (Phillies Official Site)
- Woah, Angel II, also known as Moonlight, will have Jason Dohring in it. Oh, Jason, my love for you is eternal. As apparently your character is. I've gone from mocking Angel II with all my heart to adding it to my to be TIVO'ed list.(Hollywood Reporter)
- My boss and I have sworn that we will both see the Golden Compass at midnight on the day it is released to theatres. Doesn't the casting look brilliant? I normally hate casting big names solely to cast big names, but they managed to pick people who looked almost exactly like the characters I imagined.
- Has anyone else seen and been intrigued by the latest JJ Abrahams trailer? Has Lostzilla gotten loose from the island?
20070703
movies i've watched -- ocean's thirteen
Ocean's Thirteen
First, let me say that I'm happy that I'm doing this review. I feel like all my reviews are negative, though I know they're not. I don't have unreasonable standards. I just do not unabashedly love everything. My husband often indicates I'm a downer on things, and I don't want people to believe that I hate a lot. I'm just oddly and strongly opinionated about my entertainment. I would like it to be good across the board.
Speaking of good entertainment, when I first saw the new Ocean's Eleven, I was genuinely surprised by how much I liked it. I was expecting so little and I received so much in return. This created my huge personal expectations for Ocean's Twelve, which failed me. So, for the third movie, called Ocean's Thirteen, I had mid-range expectations which were met and perhaps exceeded.
The actors did a fine job with their acting. Did I get the feeling that they were all professionals who make a lot of money and can be friendly with one another? Yes. Perhaps this is not so much a stretch from the truth, even. Did I find the schemes clever? Yes, though not so much as I found the schemes in the first one. Was the film gorgeously shot and stylish? Yes, even more so than the other two combined. All in all, I was happy to see it even if I don't think I'll be buying it for myself on DVD.
I did not get anything deep or meaningful out of this movie, but I wasn't expecting anything deep and meaningful. I did get sparkling dialogue and a gorgeous set and terrific camera work. That's enough for me. Go check it out. I won't say you'll love it, but you probably won't be disappointed.
As an aside, these movies (and Meet Joe Black) have been the only movies I've ever found to make Brad Pitt attractive to me. I'm all about stylish characters.
My rating: 7/10
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 70%
Other's Opinions:
Paul -- "That was good! I loved the look of the film."
First, let me say that I'm happy that I'm doing this review. I feel like all my reviews are negative, though I know they're not. I don't have unreasonable standards. I just do not unabashedly love everything. My husband often indicates I'm a downer on things, and I don't want people to believe that I hate a lot. I'm just oddly and strongly opinionated about my entertainment. I would like it to be good across the board.
Speaking of good entertainment, when I first saw the new Ocean's Eleven, I was genuinely surprised by how much I liked it. I was expecting so little and I received so much in return. This created my huge personal expectations for Ocean's Twelve, which failed me. So, for the third movie, called Ocean's Thirteen, I had mid-range expectations which were met and perhaps exceeded.
The actors did a fine job with their acting. Did I get the feeling that they were all professionals who make a lot of money and can be friendly with one another? Yes. Perhaps this is not so much a stretch from the truth, even. Did I find the schemes clever? Yes, though not so much as I found the schemes in the first one. Was the film gorgeously shot and stylish? Yes, even more so than the other two combined. All in all, I was happy to see it even if I don't think I'll be buying it for myself on DVD.
I did not get anything deep or meaningful out of this movie, but I wasn't expecting anything deep and meaningful. I did get sparkling dialogue and a gorgeous set and terrific camera work. That's enough for me. Go check it out. I won't say you'll love it, but you probably won't be disappointed.
As an aside, these movies (and Meet Joe Black) have been the only movies I've ever found to make Brad Pitt attractive to me. I'm all about stylish characters.
My rating: 7/10
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 70%
Other's Opinions:
Paul -- "That was good! I loved the look of the film."
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