If you want to read my funny stuff, you can visit my future to be blogged at space: The Dialogue Project! That is where I will hopefully be funny in the near future. If you want to read about crafts (and I craft way more than I joke apparently), you can go to: Ninja Kitten Knits. Join my on my voyage to blog about knitting, sewing, and cardmaking, but mostly knitting!
If you want to read about my baby, you gotta check out this blog, though. See, I'm going to blog about my perfect baby here.
What? You didn't know I had a perfect baby? Sadly, I didn't blog all of my child's beginning moments, so one day, when Nathan asks me what I thought during his first three months, I'll simply respond that I was thinking, "I hope this baby sleeps soon so I can get some rest." Maybe I should do a recap.
I wonder if anyone knows I have the cutest baby on Earth? Will they try to steal him? I had better take all the anti-theft baby advice they give me in the hospital so that no one ever steals him. I love him too much. I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I think I might die for love for this little being. I wonder what I should name him? All these people coming here better think this is a cute baby. What if all my friends think I have an ugly baby and are lying to me? How can they think this baby is ugly? Maybe they're blind. Damn, I really really love him. More than Paul loves him. I'll tell him that one day. Baby, whose name I do not yet know, I love you more than your dad does. If he tells you he loves you more, he's a liar. Who lies.
PS. Breast-feeding is totally hard and impossible and people who say otherwise are lying liars as well.
This having a baby thing is way way easier than anyone ever told me with the exception of feeding. I'm going to knock this out of the park, and I didn't even like babies before. I really wish Jade and Inigo liked Nathan more, but they'll eventually deal with it. All this baby does is sleep while we go places like Barnes and Noble or Dairy Queen. I wonder why I'm not losing any more weight. Breast-feeding is still impossible and now I kind of want to give it up. Why won't my Nathan bond with me? I don't understand it. Maybe he doesn't actually like me. I hope he likes me. Is it normal for his head to be at that angle in the car seat? That really can't be comfortable. I can't believe he's supposed to fit into this clothing. It's huge on him.
This is still the smallest thing on Earth. I cannot believe he is this tiny. Why is he so red and why are his eyes still gray? Paul and I are both pale pale people with brown eyes. What if this isn't really my son and he got switched at the hospital? I kind of love this one now. I don't think I'd give him back even if he weren't my real son. I hope he passes his hearing test. I want my baby to go through life with no problems. Clearly I have to protect him from everything. He sleeps so much still. Only, he kind of cries a lot when he's awake for those five minutes now.
He's still so tiny tiny. Why isn't his belly button healing right yet? It was supposed to be 14 days, but it is still kind of oozing, rather disgustingly. I'm glad Paul cleans it and I don't. It's yucky. I have to be so careful with his head nowadays. This whole taking care of baby stuff is kind of harder than I thought it'd be now that Paul has gone back to work and Nathan wants to be awake more. I still love him a lot though. Man, he's super awesome. I wish I wasn't basically wearing pajamas every day and all day long. I wonder if I should call my mother so I can get a two hour nap. Oh man, two uninterrupted hours of sleep. SWEET. Oh, damn, he just smiled at me. He smiled at ME. ME. He thinks I am awesome when he's awesome!
Okay, so babies aren't supposed to be up so long as I've been keeping him up. Babies get tired roughly two hours after they wake up. I wonder why that's not in a manual somewhere? I wonder why they don't make baby manuals that include stuff like, "Wiggle baby's legs to get rid of gas" and "Baby will try to step in his own poop during diaper changes" and "Spit up will often be explosively hurled over your shoulder during a burping? That would have been useful rather than that stupid "Don't shake your baby" information. I still love Nathan more than I thought humanly possible. LOVE HIM.
(Next post: Month three and four thoughts. This post will occur AFTER his fourth month birthday!)