20080130

turtleneck, i gave you one more chance.

So, as those of you who know me in real life and who read this blog are aware, I'm pregnant. I'm close to five months pregnant, actually, which doesn't sound that pregnant but which feels really pregnant.

Recently, I decided to go buy some new clothes for this pregnancy, and out of nowhere, one of the pieces I picked up was a turtleneck. I've always been enamored of the way they cover long necks and make women look so mod, but I've also always felt I was slowly being strangled to death while wearing one. In fact, it's fair to say that in the past I've hated them, but I was now convinced I had grown up and would no longer hate them.

Damn, was I wrong. It really is like being slowly strangled. I kept on pulling my turtleneck away from my neck all day long. Tug, tug, tug, tug. I can still feel the neck of that shirt around me, trying to kill me. I'll probably have nightmares about it tonight (in addition to my pregnancy normal nightmares of Paul leaving me and being fired). As soon as I got home from work, I changed into a low necked shirt which barely touched my neck in any manner and the depression which had been building all day mysteriously disappeared.

Paul just shook his head at me and told me he was surprised I had gotten the turtleneck in the first place. I asked him, "You stopped wearing turtlenecks because of me, right?" He nodded while making dinner. This is totally true. When Paul used to wear turtlenecks, I'd slip my fingers into the necks and stretch them, asking him if he felt he was being strangled. After about five times wearing turtlenecks around me, I noticed his all disappeared into thin air. Paul hates having his clothes stretched.

So, now, I own one turtleneck which I don't know if I'll ever wear again. I might wear it for some occasion where I only need to leave the house for one hour or two and I can rush home and change into a normal shirt when I get home. Anyone have any non-turtleneck maternity sweaters they can sell me? It's all spring all the time in stores now, sadly.

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