Week 38: One Last Post Before The End?

Sometime around month eight of my pregnancies, I start to lose my damned mind. This is totally true. My husband might argue that this actually occurs around month one of my pregnancies, but I know that I go particularly nuts around month eight. I go crazy in very very specific ways, too. First and foremost, I become convinced that I have all the time in the world for my hobbies.

No lie, for the last three years, I've knitted and played video games, but only casually. I've barely drawn. Suddenly? I'm the knitting queen. I've started a sweater and two hats in the last three weeks and I'm making progress on them. Video games? I just bought the Sims 3 and I wondered to myself, "Should I get Skyrim or Kingdoms of Alamur? Maybe a subscription to Gamefly? Or should I just re-up my old World of Warcraft account?"

I find myself doodling on my computer and in notebooks once again. I casually wonder what it would take to move houses right now. Or to, you know, re-paint our whole house. In the winter. With a new baby.

Secondly, I start to wonder if I have to go through with delivery and labor or if some miracle will occur and the baby will just pop out of me via teleportation. As many of you know, I basically told my husband, my nurses, and my doctor when they were prepping me for my last C-section that I wasn't going to do it. I was just not going to sign the forms. They couldn't make me. They couldn't give me an IV. I didn't want to have the baby. EVER. My husband lovingly tried to convince me that I had to have the baby while the nurses ignored me and prepped everything anyway. (And did the lousiest job on an IV ever. I hope they are more competent this time.)

Lastly, I become a hard core curser. I have over the last several years mainly stopped cursing, but it is back with a vengeance now. Sometimes, I even curse in front of N, even though it is the mild cursing of "damn".

So, let's end this post with a things I consider blessings:

1. My belly button never popped out over two pregnancies. Thank you, belly button.

2. My stretch marks consist of two dots on my tummy and a few short lines on one of my breasts. Thank you, skin.

3. Hot showers continue to improve my day by both making my aches disappear briefly and clearing up my continuously congested nose for a few minutes.

4. My computer chair which leans like the Tower of Pisa has not completely broken apart yet and dropped me into a heap on the floor.

5. The internet for both distracting me and proving that some women out there agree with my assessment of pregnancy.

6. Next week at this time, I will no longer be dealing with the symptoms of pregnancy or anxious fear of C-sections. I will instead be planning on which outfit N2 should be wearing for the visits from friends and family. The Winnie the Pooh onesie or a cupcake sleeper? THOSE ARE THE KIND OF DILEMMAS I PREFER!

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