20080801

fictional confusion

Things I find confusing about television, books, or movies I'm mentally invested in:

1. Why does anyone live in Gotham?

Sure, it seems like a perfectly pretty, if dark, city, but... Well, if I were living in the DC universe, I wouldn't even take a frickin' plane if it had a layover in Gotham. Other cities in the DC universe such as Edge City or even Metropolis just seem so much safer and nicer and brighter. There's crazy villains in those other cities, I guess, but Batman's city is just creepy. I never understand why the populous doesn't move en masse.

2. Why is Slytherin allowed to exist?

Honestly, if you were the Headmaster of Hogwarts, wouldn't you have gotten rid of Slytherin ages ago? It seems to foster malcontents, troublemakers, and plain ol' evil. I mean, I like the Slytherins and find that to be either the best of the houses or the second best (I've got a fondness for Ravenclaw), but I think a smart leader would make sure that people sorted into Slytherin instead got sent to another school.

3. In the Potterverse still, two related questions. Why does Hermoine like Ron? And why was Hermoine sorted into Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw?

Admittedly, I haven't read the last two books, but Ron seems a bit like an incredible doof. Hermoine could do much better, if you ask me. Also, I never believed that she was Gryffindor material. She has Ravenclaw written all over her.

4. Why wouldn't you tell Veronica Mars the truth?

She'll just get to the truth anyway, and then she'll be pissed at you for not telling you the truth in the first place and she'll get revenge.

5. Alternatively, why would you get involved with Veronica romantically?

Dick is right. She's rich boy kryptonite. Her boyfriends have been drug dealers, gotten fired from their jobs for selling evidence, have been arrested for murder multiple times over, and have been forced to leave the country with their illegitimate child. It just seems like a bad scene.

6. Why would you get involved with a vampire if your whole job in life is to kill them?

And not just one, but two different vampires. Buffy? Vampire Slayer, not Vampire Layer. Just clearing up the confusion for you.

7. Why does anyone trust Ben?

It flies in the face of all reason to believe him or trust him, yet every moron on that island appears to. If you ask me, if everyone besides Ben gets massacred on Lost, they all fully deserve it. I hope you win, Ben. I really do.

4 comments:

Helen said...

Heh. Good one, kitten.

KidSmartyPants said...

What about Locke? Would you miss Locke, a little?

rjbs said...

In re Ms. Granger: Barbara Gordon is a Muggle. Oracle is a Ravenclaw. Batgirl is a Gryffindor.

I hope that clarifies things.

Jane said...

Oh my god! I said that same thing abut Gotham to Mary right after we saw Dark Knight. Who thinks it's a good idea to raise a family in a city full of evil villains who are scary looking and life threatening?