stupid things i've cut myself on

The title should be obvious, but to be clearer, I'm a clumsy moron who can't be trusted to hold basic household items without hurting myself. Here are dumbest things I've used to injure myself:

1. A butter knife, while used for its intended purpose of cutting butter: This is the harshest cut I've received in the stupid cuts department. I wacked into my forefinger good and bled like a stuck pig through three different bandages.

2. My new contact holder's tinfoil covering: I got my worst "papercut" ever from the tinfoil covering. I actually put off opening a new pair of contacts for three months after this cut, and I live in fear of new contact holders to this day.

3. Tag on the back of a new shirt: I simply slid my finger along the back of a new shirt and managed to cut it on the tag. I cut out the tag prior to wearing the shirt, but the shirt was really dead to me after that incident.

4. Blanket: My most recent injury is from an acrylic blanket I have. Paul and I had accidentally burnt a hole in it last year, and I was playing with the edge of that burnt part when I cut myself on it. I'm the only person I've ever heard of with a blanket cut.

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